Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

And no, this isn't some lurid, avatar-on-author book action. It's...well, words escape me at the moment. As a matter of fact, I'm scratching my head in trying to consider my thoughts on this. It's not every day you see a well-known author verbally eviscerate her fans in an Amazon Books review of her own book.

You'll see Anne Rice's reivew of her readers' reviews of "Blood Canticle" about halfway down the page. Look for: From the Author to the Some of the Negative Voices Here.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/037541200X/ref=cm_rev_next/
002-5262353-1298444?%5Fencoding=UTF8&customer-reviews.sort%5Fby=-
SubmissionDate&n=283155&customer-reviews.start=31&me=ATVPDKIKX0DER

This is reminiscent of Stephen King blasting literary critic Harold Bloom. I think King more took issue to Bloom's comments regarding King not being a real author, and how King could only write pulp crap...which does bring up the question of what a "real" author is as opposed to an "imaginary" or "unreal" one. Maybe they're talking about fanfiction authors, who are not really official authors, so they're more of an "unreal" phenomenon.

Though admittedly I myself think of Bloom as a bit of a jaded twit since the only books he ever wrote were books about other peoples' books. Or so my mostly-uninformed opinion goes. Feel free to correct and/or enlighten me if it's otherwise.

But getting back to Rice's rants, I find this as a shining example of how to be a literary megalomaniac, or why most authors should fear their own fandom rather than their book reviewers. Not "hide under the bed" fear, but hold a distinct leeriness in wondering if one day they're going to end up strapped to a bed with a rabid fan wanting to marry them, or one day discovering their entire fandom has grown up and subsequently grown disenchanted.

Maybe Neil Gaiman's right: When you publish a book -- when you make art -- people are free to say what they want about it. You can't tell people they liked a book they didn't like, and there is, in the end, no arguing with personal taste. Different people like different things. Best to move on and make good art as best you can, instead of arguing.

I think Anne Rice going on Amazon and lambasting her critics was undoubtedly a very brave and satisfying thing for her to do, was every bit as sensible as kicking a tar baby, and, if ever I do something like that, please shoot me.

This is also why I really am not much of a sequel kind of guy. I'd rather not write a sequel if I can get away with it, if only to avoid warmed-over characters and a story that lacks the punch of the original. (Unless you're talking "Fanboys", in which case I just enjoy a story that involves the warmed-over characters getting punched and warmed-over from the latest Dragu Slave spell. A lot. In which case the story, and my latent literary sadism, calls for it!) Then again, I get to worry about how any and all new stories I write will get compared to their predecessors and be stamped as "recycled" instead of "original."

But enough of me ranting about authors ranting about fans ranting. I have to go to Connecticut now for a week or so, where Mel & I get to attend a family wedding, and I discover how silly I look in a tie.

Today's Chaos-on-Chaos Review: I'm right. You're a silly tit. If you disagree with those two statements of fact, I hope and pray that one day you'll be freed of your delusion.

(Of course, this would all get changed if it read: "I'm right, and I'm a silly tit." That happens a lot. Especially the second part. Not so much the first part, mind you.)



posted by Phillip at 5:52 AM

 

Today Mel & I visited the just-about-24-hours-old Gabriel Robert Neville. He was very small, very quiet, very very cute, and surprisingly wrinkly. But I guess that's what happens after you've been floating around in embryonic fluid for 9ish months. Gabriel was also very very asleep, though every now and again he rouses himself just long enough to make really wierd faces at me when it was my turn to hold him. Apparently even newborns have an innate "baka sense" built into their genetic structure.

Welcome to the world at large, Gabriel! Chaos (or as Mel likes to now refer to me, "Uncle Baka") welcomes you to it! And may you not pee on me the way you've been so far trying to on Kevin and Donna.

Mel would also like to insist here that I am absolutely forbidden to see to it that Gabe's first word is "Puchuu."

Today's Lesson: babies are born without eyebrows. I never knew this before, and now that I know, somehow this fact just disturbs me.


posted by Phillip at 9:23 PM

 

It's a strange and wonderful relationship Mel-chan & I share. It's a relationship based on nurturing and understanding. Like how yesterday, I blatantly lied to Mel, leading her to believe we were merely going out for banale coffee, only to pull up to a local Renaissance Festival instead. And upon realising the extent of my surprise for her (I believe Mel realized something was up as we turned onto the street where the festival parking lot was and first saw the sign "Waterloo Renaissance Festival"), Mel uttered those five amazing words every man wants to hear: "You are such an ass."

To further prove my point, consider tonight, where Mel threatened to bash me over the head with a plastic bottle frozen full of ice.Whereupon I took said bottle and dribbled water down her back. Whereupon Mel smacked me across the back of the head with a dinner roll. Four times. Not once, not twice, not even a third time for a charm. No, four times, with that last one being done just for good measure.

It must be love. As far as I know, there's no actual name for the psychoses we share together, so it has to be love. If not by default, then until a disorder/dysfunction is named after us.

Today's Lesson: while being hit four times across the back of the head with a dinner roll doesn't exactly hurt, it sure sounds like you're taking quite the beating.

posted by Phillip at 8:11 PM